


Breaking Up, Breaking Down

by NikMaxwell



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 08:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18407303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikMaxwell/pseuds/NikMaxwell
Summary: Moving on is a slow, slow process.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with a deliriously high fever. 
> 
> Enjoy?

It did not end well.

 

They never talked about it, really. They just stopped talking altogether, stopped sleeping together, even stopped looking at each other.

 

They would just pass by each other in their apartment. There were even times when they’d stay in the same quiet room without acknowledging each other’s presence.

 

Jeongyeon kept forgetting how small their place actually was with the way Nayeon felt so far away even when she’s within arm’s reach.

 

Then, Nayeon started coming home smelling of perfume.

 

Nayeon hates wearing perfume.

 

At first, Jeongyeon told herself that maybe Nayeon changed her mind about that.

 

It took her a few weeks to admit that Nayeon has changed her mind about something else.

 

Jeongyeon doesn’t say goodbye. She just packs her bags and leaves in the middle of the night to temporarily stay with a friend.

 

She still has a few things to take care of to finalize the arrangements regarding her new place, but the past sleepless weeks insist that moving out can’t wait.

 

She considers leaving a letter with all of the things she never said and all of the things she already said but will never get to say again. In the end, she takes the letter along with her other belongings before disappearing.

 

The guilt of leaving Nayeon with nothing but a half-empty room makes Jeongyeon’s stomach twist but only for one whole day.

 

Nayeon doesn’t call.

 

Nayeon doesn’t care.

 

Jeongyeon tries her best not to care too. She’s failing miserably, but she’s trying her best.

 

Moving on is a slow, _slow_ process.

 

She deletes Nayeon’s number first, and she pretends like she doesn’t already know it by heart. She erases Nayeon’s photos on her phone too, and she pretends that’s not half as hard as erasing Nayeon’s images in her own memory.

 

She spends a month going straight to bed after work, tossing and turning at night, trying to silence all the thoughts of Nayeon in her head. Even when she falls asleep, she dreams of the one girl that makes her want to escape reality.

 

Then, she spends another month going out almost every evening, hoping her luck will save her from running into Nayeon and from seeing her with another girl. She drinks with her friends and ignores all of the pats on the back and the choruses of you deserve better and you’re gonna be alright.

 

Then, she spends another avoiding her friends’ blatant plans to set her up.

 

On the fourth month, she stops dodging. Worst case scenario, she’ll still be miserable, but that still sounds a bit better than being miserable _and_ alone.

 

It takes a while for Jeongyeon to remember how dating works. She’s already forgotten how it is to look at someone and decide she likes them even when she knows practically nothing about them.

 

Three awkward dates later, she meets Mina.

 

She tries not to make comparisons, but Mina is nothing like Nayeon. She laughs softly, listens intently, and touches gently.

 

Jeongyeon is still awkward as heck, but when she says or does something dumb, Mina just smiles at her and gives her _this_ look, a look that makes Jeongyeon remember the feeling of deserving affection and plainly being good enough.

 

Mina makes Jeongyeon forget the things that make her sad by replacing those memories with ones that make her feel happy and warm and content.

 

Mina is not perfect, but Jeongyeon finds all of her imperfections quite endearing, like how Mina forgets important things when she leaves Jeongyeon’s apartment.

 

The doorbell rings just a few moments after Mina went out for work, and Jeongyeon shakes her head as she figures that the girl probably forgot her car keys again.

 

She catches herself smiling so widely, and at that moment, she thinks maybe, just maybe, Mina might be the one.

 

She opens the door, and the smile on her face disappears.

 

It wasn’t Mina.

 

Her heart drops, and just like that, she’s back at square one.


	2. Chapter 2

Things fell apart before Nayeon even noticed it.

 

She doesn’t know when she started seeing the signs—the cancelled plans, the slow and cold replies, the deafening silence that’s always there when they’re together.

 

All that she remembers is staying up late at night, wondering when Jeongyeon stopped loving her.

 

She wasn’t Nayeon’s type. She was better. It was as if Jeongyeon took one look at Nayeon’s long mental list of the things she wants and needs from someone else and asked, “Is that all?”

 

When Jeongyeon said, “I think I love you,” Nayeon replied, “I already know.”

 

Nayeon used to believe that Jeongyeon loved her even before she first said it. She didn’t need those words to be said out loud. She already felt it.

 

She doesn’t know when she stopped believing.

 

Maybe it was when Jeongyeon stopped trying.

 

It was kinda surprising, how Jeongyeon gave up on them so easily. They didn’t even fight much, but usually, Jeongyeon was the one who fixed things when Nayeon would get mad, no matter whose fault it really was.

 

Nayeon doesn’t know when Jeongyeon decided things weren’t worth fixing anymore.

 

Moving on is a slow process, but falling out of love isn’t. It’s something you’d look back on without being able to identify when the process began and when it ended.

 

It just happens.

 

Meeting Sana was possibly a catalyst.

 

Sana was attractive and sweet and _there_. She gave Nayeon all the attention and affection that Jeongyeon stopped providing.

 

When Sana said, “I’m pretty sure I like you,” Nayeon replied, “I already know.”

 

Subtlety didn’t seem like Sana’s strong suit anyway.

 

Nayeon told herself it wasn’t cheating. After all, she’s never let Sana kiss her nor did she ever say that she likes her back.

 

It’s not that Sana’s company felt like home. It’s just that Sana’s company made Nayeon forget that home doesn’t feel like home anymore.

 

Apparently, Jeongyeon felt the same way because she left without saying a word.

 

Nayeon didn’t even have to go through denial. She knew Jeongyeon wasn’t coming back.

 

Expecting something to happen doesn’t make it hurt any less when it actually happens.

 

There was a hollow feeling in Nayeon’s chest, and she was desperate to stop feeling it.

 

The first time she kisses Sana, her first thought isn’t “finally.” She was hoping it would make her mind go silent and her heart feel less empty.

 

It helps.

 

It really does.

 

At least for a while.

 

She really does like Sana. She helps Nayeon forget.

 

Sure, sometimes, Nayeon gets reminded of Jeongyeon when she sees a certain thing or eats a certain food or hears a certain song. Sometimes, Nayeon randomly wonders where Jeongyeon is, what she’s doing, and whom she’s with. Still, for the most part, Nayeon doesn’t think about her anymore.

 

Except when Sana asks her what they are and hints about wanting something more, her mind immediately goes to Jeongyeon.

 

She suddenly remembers everything—how good things were at the start, how much she felt when Jeongyeon first confessed, how loved she was all throughout their relationship, and how badly it all ended.

 

Nayeon finds it hard to breathe with all of these suffocating thoughts, so she excuses herself and finds herself running.

 

Before she even realizes it, she’s already in front of Jeongyeon’s door.

 

Nayeon sees Jeongyeon again for the first time since forever, and for a moment, time stops.

 

“Can we talk?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm at twitter.com/minamyouwu


End file.
